Previous England skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet face the full consequences of the muscle-degenerating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and lifted multiple English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the illness.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and hesitating to fully comprehend that at the minute," he commented.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is certainly a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, states rather he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his present health, his family and getting ready for when the illness progresses.
"Maybe that's shock or possibly I process things differently, and when I have the details, it's more manageable," he added.
First Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some weakness in his shoulder while working out in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the condition, a set of scans indicated nerve cells in his central nervous system had been affected by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably quite moved about it, but it's so strange because I sense that nothing's wrong," he added.
"I don't feel ill. I don't feel sick
"My symptoms are quite slight. I have some muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder.
"I remain capable of doing whatever I want. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Condition Progression
MND can advance quickly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the disease claims a 33% of people within a 365 days and more than half within 24 months of detection, as ingestion and breathing become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only retard worsening.
"It's not me that I experience sorrow for," added an moved Moody.
"There's sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Consequences
Speaking from the family home with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he discussed telling his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, stating: "This was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was rather upsetting," Moody remarked.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and began removing the drops off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody explained the emphasis was staying in the moment.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be so strongly focused on just welcoming and enjoying everything now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been very blessed that the only real determination I made when I left playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as possible. We won't recover those years back."
Sportsman Association
Elite sportspeople are excessively influenced by MND, with research indicating the incidence of the disease is up to six times higher than in the wider community.
It is believed that by reducing the oxygen available and causing damage to motor neurone cells, frequent, vigorous training can initiate the illness in those inherently predisposed.
Sports Career
Moody, who earned 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his courageous, unwavering method to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once sparked a practice confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a training equipment and started throwing himself into physical contacts.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the line-out in the decisive passage of play, establishing a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to score the match-winning drop-goal.
Assistance Network
Moody has already informed Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a couple of other previous players about his diagnosis, but the remaining individuals will be learning his news with the broader public.
"There will be a period when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the moment, just having that type of affection and acceptance that people are available is what's important," he said.
"This game is such a excellent community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it finished now, I've valued all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"Being able to consider your passion your profession, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"To have done it for so considerable a duration with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I understand they will want to assist in any way they can and I look forward to having those conversations."
